Friday, 2 October 2015

Early Retirement

I’m thinking of retiring.  I’ve got 28 years to go, and quite frankly, it’s 27 years 11 months and 3 weeks too long.  I’ve worked for 17 years, and I think that’s reasonable. 

It’s not that I don’t like my job, and I’ve certainly got lots of lovely memories.  I think I’ve made a difference to a few lives, even though I struggled to make Wingy understand that the case about the boy who drowned doing the doggy paddle wasn’t actually about dogs.  I treasured the blu-tak Christmas tree angel that Badders made me for many years.  But now, I’ve got other things I’d like to do.

I need to paid for this retiring though.  It would be a good investment to the nation.  If I retired, I would…

·         Walk my child to school and back every day.  No petrol fumes!


·         Volunteer at school.  Qualified teacher – free labour.



·         Be able to go to all these school things and not inconvenience my hardworking

Mother, and Daughter would know that there’s nothing more important than her.


·         Go to the gym every day.  Fit and healthy, less likely cost to the NHS in years to come.


·         Go shopping at least once a week, thus fuelling the economy.


·         But not at peak times, inconveniencing the workers


·         Keep a pristine home (which has no real benefit to the nation, but still…)


·         Be happier and smilier and more pleasant to be around


There’s so much more to life than work.  I wouldn’t be bored, honestly.  I wouldn’t even mind people thinking I was a young-looking 60 something (as long as they did think I was young looking!).  I can’t think of any other way to achieve my desired at-home lifestyle.  There’s winning the lottery, of course, and I’m still well up for that.  But I can’t think of anything else.  I only want to be at home with some money, so packing in work and becoming a housewife is out of the question.  I can’t sew and have no creative cooking skills with pulses (I remember both of them from my childhood, so clearly the type of housewife Mother was has influenced my idea of housewifery!) , so I don’t want to be running the house on less cash.  So retirement is it.  I might get a forecast.  Oh! I could retire now.  With a lump sum of…about £2000.  Pah.  Oh, there’s a monthly payment too..that would cover Daughter’s pocket money.  Back to the drawing board.  Hang on!  Isn’t it a Euromillions night?  You should always have a Plan B…